Legally Binding
by Synchrony
Summary: In which Leon is assaulted by child-logic and Yuffie convinces him to pretty much sign his life away. One shot.


I come bearing fic! This was originally written as part of a secret santa exchange at the kh_drabble community on Livejournal and sort of rolled on from there because I'd forgotten how much fun these two can be to bounce off each other. So, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Kingdom Hearts and all its characters aren't mine, and (quite tragically) I'm making no profit from this.

* * *

**Legally Binding**

It was amazing how qualified Yuffie was in dramatic entrances, considering she was only nine. On this particular occasion, she burst in through the door with a loud crash, leapt up onto the chair opposite him and flung her arms and head onto the table with what she clearly thought was a tragic wail of "Oh, the inhumanity!".

Of course, if Yuffie was the queen of dramatic entrances, then Leon was the lord of non-responsiveness. In fact, if the word 'deadpan' had a verb form, that was exactly how he'd pass through life. So he said nothing, _did_ nothing except calmly continue to polish his gunblade and wonder which of Aerith's epic romance novels she'd picked up that particular phrase from.

As expected, it didn't take her long to look up and say, in a tone that would've been more menacing without the pout, "I _said_, 'Oh, the inhumanity!'."

Leon nodded, glancing up at her briefly without ever once stopping what he was doing and replied, "Yes. You did."

Yuffie let out an indignant cry and slammed her palms on the table. "You _clearly _don't understand the _issue _here, Squall-"

"Leon."

"We," she continued unphased, drawing in a deep breath, "_Have to get married!_"

And with another brave attempt at a wretched cry, Yuffie flung herself back down onto the table. Leon raised an eyebrow at her in the way that she always tried to emulate but that always made her look more like a constipated moogle and decided that, as always, logic was the best course of action.

"No we don't."

"Yes, we do!" Her head shot up again. "Aerith told me that when people get older they fall in love and get married!"

"So?"

"_So_," Yuffie raised her voice, presenting her hands to begin ticking off options. "Cloud ran away, so I can't marry him because I don't know where he is, and Tifa went to find him, so I can't marry her either. And Aerith's too busy being worried about them for me to marry _her_. So that just leaves you or Cid, and I know you're too old but he's even too _older_, and at least we wouldn't have to be married too long, seeing as you're practically on your deathbed anyways-"

"Yuffie." he cut in, raising a hand to his head, which was aching from the sudden onslaught of child-logic. That, and he wasn't keen on being insulted more- he was only eighteen, damnit!

"That's why I thought we needed to come to an agreement!" she chirped, suddenly all sunshine as she produced a sheet of paper from her pocket with a flourish.

Leon took the paper from her warily, asking, "What's this?" And then, as he scanned it, "Did you write this in wax crayon?"

"It's a contract! Duh!" As if he could make out more than about twenty percent of her scrawl. "It says that when we get married, you have to accept that I'm the Greatest Ninja Ever. And take me with you to fight at the Coliseum. And not complain when I follow you around. And buy me ice cream once a day _at least_. Oh! And that in return, I'll only expect you to smile three times a week." She nodded, looking satisfied. "And yes, I did. Six colours, too! Not that you'd understand how that'd cheer most people up."

"And if I don't sign it?"

"Then you're a meanie forever and I'll cry and scream until Aerith tells you off." She put her fists on her hips. "Really, Squall, I'm nearly _ten_. I need to start thinking about the future, y'know?"

There was a pause as their eyes locked. Then, trying to ignore her triumphant grin, Leon began to search his pockets for a pen.

* * *

Years pass. Yuffie grows up and Leon grows older; friendship develops into mutual attraction into romance; the first few not-quite dates and awkward declarations pass along with first kisses and first _other_ things too; and then all of a sudden he's moving in with her because, hey, there's totally room for him and moving all her pets would be a pain when _someone_ clearly has to be Radiant Garden's resident crazy cat lady.

It's when she's trying to clear some of the aforementioned promised room for him that she comes across the crumpled sheet of bright scribblings. It takes her approximately thirty seconds to remember what it was- more than enough time for a wicked smirk to have appeared on her face and for her to be halfway across the room.

Standing in the doorway, she brandishes the paper in her left hand- the same as she wears the ring on- and calls, as sweetly as she can manage, "Oh, _Squall_-"


End file.
